First Aired: June 27, 2000
Plot: The Griffins need a new car. Lois decides to buy one out of the classified ads, but Peter refuses, having concluded that buying a car out of the classifieds is what led to an acquaintance of his contracting herpes ten years earlier.
Peter and Lois go to the local car dealership, where despite Lois’s advice, a salesman (Jim Kaplan the conman) convinces Peter to buy a car that has a drawing of an engine instead of an actual engine (the salesman claimed that the car was originally owned by James Bond). Instead, the car breaks down at the exit. After this Lois becomes furious with him on the count he never listens to her advice. Later at Cleveland’s Deli, a Mafia soldier offers to help Peter obtain a brand-new car by destroying his new one. In exchange for this favor, the Don insists that Peter take his (the Don’s) nephew Big Fat Paulie to the movies. Big Fat Paulie is “vile and disgusting”; even the Don says “No one has ever been able to stand Big Fat Paulie’s company for more than a minute.” Despite this, Peter and Paulie get along very well. The two become close friends and the two bond, since they are both vile and obnoxious.
Lois disapproves of Paulie, and when Peter explains this to Paulie, Paulie is very angry with Lois (even mooning Bonnie). Paulie puts a hit out on Lois in order to get her out of the way. Peter immediately appeals to him to call it off and succeeds, but Paulie is murdered before being able to make the call. Peter and Lois are able to call off the hit by asking the Don for a favor on “the day of his daughter's wedding.” However, Peter asked the Don if he could have his snack so they lost their chance. Worse, the Don’s daughter’s husband-to-be is a hit-man. Peter steps in front of Lois and asked the Don to have him shot. The Don decided to call off the hit after seeing love on the day of his daughter’s wedding. As Lois and Peter asked the valet to get their car, it explodes. The Don’s son-in-law catches up to warn them but he was a bit too late. Peter felt that he learned his lesson and no one important got hurt. (Humorously afterwards we see the bus-boy’s vest fall from the sky due to being caught in the explosion, and Lois and Peter end up exactly where they started; with only one car.)