The Tan Aquatic with Steve Zissou

First Aired: February 18, 2007

Plot: While babysitting Stewie, Peter takes him along on an all day golf game, and Stewie ends up with a tan all over his body. Stewie decides he likes being tanned and begins frequently to use a tanning bed in his room. He also holds a party for tanned people only.

Stewie tells Brian to wake him up after fifteen minutes of tanning, but Brian falls asleep and only wakes up six and a half hours later. Stewie is extremely sunburnt, barely able to move and in great pain. When Stewie eventually begins to peel, Brian spots a mole on Stewie's stomach. Convinced it is skin cancer, Stewie begins to live out his dying wishes, with Brian forced to help him since it was entirely his fault. As his last request he has Brian record his final thoughts. In the end, Stewie hears from Dr. Hartman that he does not have cancer, and gives up tanning.

Meanwhile, Chris learns that his best customer, Herbert, has made Kyle, a neighbor's son and a bully, his new paper boy. Chris decides to confront them both, but ends up getting pushed over by Kyle, subsequently returning home in tears, much to Peter and Lois' concern. Peter goes to talk with Kyle, who though makes fun of him over and over. Unable to handle his anger toward Kyle, Peter then beats him up aggressively, leaving Kyle bleeding and bruised.

Kyle’s mother agrees not to press charges if Peter apologizes to Kyle, which he reluctantly does. Kyle comments on how good bullying makes you feel which encourages Peter to become a bully. Peter throws a pot of boiling water over Lois, and makes her punch herself in the face. He also hits Stewie on his sunburned ass, trips Chris, and farts repeatedly in Meg's face (following her backwards around the table until she finally trips, and then letting out a powerful fart right in her face, so that she vomits on the floor, at which Peter gets mad with her).

When Peter also bullies his friends, using Joe as a marionette, Lois points out that he is as bad as his old school bully, Randy Fulcher. Deciding he should bully him instead, Peter finds Randy, who is now suffering with multiple sclerosis. Thinking, when Randy says “I have MS,” that he is bragging that he has a monkey’s scrotum, Peter is about to beat up Randy, but is stopped by Chris, who beats Peter up instead and finally convinces him bullying is wrong.