First Aired: November 19, 2006

Plot: Mayor Adam West pursues a pizza delivery man with his cat launcher (a crossbow that employs his cats as projectiles), launching one cat through the window of an adult video store.

Chris and his friends believe that someone has broken in, and go in and steal armfuls of videos. When Lois catches Chris watching porn, and finds out there’s no sex-ed teacher at his school, she volunteers for the job, only to be fired when parents complain that she’s teaching the children about condoms.

A minister (voiced by David Cross) is brought to the school to preach abstinence, causing many students, including Meg and her boyfriend, to vow to abstain; even Peter becomes abstinent. However, a craze of ear sex sweeps the city, as the abstinent people still desire sexual encounters. Lois tries to fight this immediately.

Meanwhile, Stewie hunts the tooth fairy. Although Brian later tells him that the tooth fairy is not real, the tooth Stewie had left as bait has mysteriously disappeared.