First Aired: November 6, 2005

Plot: In a cave somewhere in Afghanistan, Osama bin Laden and his associates are getting ready to film their next message to send to Americans. Stewie shows up and starts to fight everyone. After succeeding, Stewie falls from the cave and lands on his bike (in a parody of the opening of the first The Naked Gun movie).

Peter is very excited about watching the Emmy Awards, however Lois tells him that he has to attend Meg’s play. Peter voices his frustration and is forced to go. At Meg’s play, Peter tries many ways to watch the Emmys, even trying to convince Lois to leave early, but he fails.

Back at home, the news anchors are reporting that after a “trouser malfunction,” David Hyde Pierce revealed his testicles. Peter is outraged that he “missed a moment in television history.” In the Federal Communications Commission building, the Board of Commissioners are discussing what to do about the David Hyde Pierce incident. Their Chairman, Cobra Commander from G.I. Joe, tells them that they have to censor television.

The FCC gets to work on television shows, cutting out anything that might be deemed inappropriate, including bikinis on Three’s Company, Ralph Kramden’s threats of spousal abuse and even Dick van Dyke’s name. Peter is enraged, and swears to fight the ban. With advice from Tom Tucker, Peter starts his own television network called PTV. He broadcasts classic shows in their original, unedited versions, as well as original programming, such as Cheeky Bastard, Midnight Q, Dogs Humping, and The Peter Griffin Side-Boob Hour (Douchebags in the DVD version).

Lois is upset about Peter’s obscenity in his shows. She calls the FCC, prompting Peter, Brian, and Stewie to perform an elaborate musical number about how insane the FCC’s regulations are. The song ends with Peter, Stewie and Brian in travestial outfits (probably a reference to the Rocky Horror Picture Show).

The FCC shut down PTV. After Peter tells the FCC that they can’t stop people from being who they are, they take on the challenge. The FCC start to censor any foul language and inappropriate behavior in Quahog - all expletives are bleeped with an air horn, and audible farts are banned in public. After being prevented from having sex due to the indecency laws, Lois eventually concedes that Peter was right, and they both lobby Congress to have the FCC’s rulings reversed. At first they resist, but they relent when Peter points out the resemblance of many Washington area buildings to various naughty body parts.

The oppression of the FCC is gone, and the family settles down to watch an episode of the The Brady Bunch that features a poop joke.