First Aired: January 13, 2008

Plot: Peter decides to grow a mustache, since he believes his life will be better that way. It is for awhile, until he is mistaken for a fireman (because they apparently all have mustaches). He lends a hand when a fire breaks out at a local fast food restaurant called "McBurgertown". Peter saves the life of the owner, but loses his mustache in the process. The grateful owner gives him unlimited burgers as a “thank you”. True to form, however he eats so many that he has a stroke, leaving his left side entirely numb for months. When Peter miraculously recovers following stem-cell treatment, he vows to expose the fast-food company (although he was the one at fault, for having eaten 30 hamburgers) and, after infiltrating the McBurgertown headquarters and slaughterhouse, becomes friends with the genetically engineered cow (Ricardo Montalban) who blows the whistle on the company's practices.

Meanwhile, Stewie makes a bet with Brian that he can become the coolest kid in James Woods High. He puts on a cool disguise and successfully becomes the most popular kid in school. He asks Connie DiMico out to a movie and later to have sex but Connie finds out he has a small penis. The next day she tells everyone and humiliates Stewie. When Stewie goes to talk to her, they have an apology kiss. But Stewie reveals he's a baby and gets revenge by humiliating Connie (and getting her arrested) for inappropriately kissing a naked baby.