First Aired: November 29, 2009

Plot: When Brian finds a website that has chosen to read and discuss his book "Faster Than the Speed of Love". But when he then goes to the pizza parlor, where it is being held, he discovers that the people that like his book are mentally disabled. He gets drunk then accidentally runs over another dog on the way home. He attempts to hide the body but his conscience get the better of him. When he comes clean, he is surprised to see that no one cares, so he tries to convince everyone that the life of a dog should have the same value as a human one. When he finds he can't change people's minds he becomes depressed. Stewie is touched by his emotion and decides to show him how much he is appreciated by the Griffins by faking his death and letting him see the result.

Meanwhile, tired of Peter's messes, Lois hires Consuela the maid. However, she proves to be completely insufferable. Peter ends up knocking her out with chloroform and leaving her with Joe.