First Aired: June 26, 2005
Plot: Peter, Joe and Quagmire drag Cleveland to a bar to get him to meet some women after Loretta left him. It doesn’t work so well, so when The Bachelorette comes to Quahog, Peter takes Cleveland to try and join. Cleveland gets nervous at the audition and in an effort to calm him, Peter removes Cleveland’s clothes and then his own. The producers see this and Brian apologizes for what happened with Peter and Cleveland. After meeting Brian, they recruit him to be a contestant. He signs up for the free martinis and food, but ends up falling in love with the reality starlet, Brooke.
Meanwhile, Chris has a zit on his face which he names “Doug.” Lois worries about Chris, as Doug tells Chris to make some mischief. He goes to Swanson’s house and sets a bag on their porch on fire, and writes “That’s enough, John Mayer” in spraypaint on the wall of the Quahog Mini-Mart. Lois sees Chris sneaking back into his room and is going to punish him but Chris tells her that Doug said he doesn’t have to listen to her. This outrages Lois, deciding to go to Goldman’s Pharmacy the next day and get some astringent to get rid of Doug. However, the next day, as Peter and Lois head to Goldman’s, they realize there has been a break-in, and someone has destroyed Mort’s entire stock of acne medication.
That night, when Brooke comes over for dinner to meet Brian’s family, Doug tells Chris to lift up Brooke’s shirt. He does this, shocking and offending the family. Joe comes in, saying he has proof that it was Chris who broke into Goldman’s Pharmacy and stole his acne medication. Chris decides he no longer wants to listen to Doug after he made his mom cry, but Doug says he could make Chris punch himself, or even worse, shoot him in the brain. Right after the scene where Brooke tells Brian that they are breaking up, Chris is at the dermatology clinic, desperate to get rid of the zit. Doug tries to shoot him in the brain, but Chris manages to use the cortisone on the zit, finally taking it out.
Brian wins her heart and the final rose, but when the cameras are turned off, Brooke suddenly turns cold to Brian. Brian leaves dozens of messages on Brooke’s answering machine but she doesn’t answer, so Brian goes to see her in person. Brooke throws an answering machine at him and he finally gets the hint.